Monday, May 22, 2006

Would the real Amy Lewis please stand up?

It's Ok to admit it - at times we have all found ourselves in a familiar situation. You're alone in the house, perhaps sampling a cheeky beaujolais as you tap out a chain email, enjoying the latest Sims 2 screenshots, or updating your Hey Dad Fanfiction (on the site that YOU, Emma Lewis, are starting ASAP). All of a sudden, you feel the urge deep inside to do something spontaneous. Something a little frisky. Something that others would deem to be wrong.

Tonight, as I waited for my significant other to return from work at the box factory, I too felt the urge. I drew the curtains, turned up Kenny G's Amore , and gave in to tempation - I googled my own name.

Much to my horror, moments later I found myself traversing the excpetionally concise, sometimes confronting, sometimes downright baffling

The first thing I was struck by (other than a sexy close up shot that indicates her genetic "Ranga" disposition), was the sheer breadth of information that could be gleaned about this particular Amy Lewis, at the mere touch of a key.

I quivered as I clicked on the link that is tittilatingly titled "sexy". As the title indicates, the link is a doorway to a veritable treasure chest of images that show Amy's tough side, innocent side, sexy side (and heavily photoshopped side).

As I read her bio, it became evident that Amy Lewis, actor, poet, artist and model from New Orleans may not have much to say to Amy Lewis, accounts clerk from Westmeadows, should they meet in a crowded McDonalds, Dimmey's sale or feminist haiku reading.

Whilst I spend my precious hours whittling wood, shaving my legs or adding to my German Shepherd cross stitch, the other Amy muses;

"I worked wtih Steven Scott and a great indie cast on a docudrama about the unraveling life of a documentary filmmaker as he researches the Fibonacci sequence and encounters a young boy with Aspergers Syndrome. I play Caroline the young boy's mom."

How can I, a girl born to Janet and Stephen Lewis, who's biggest achievement in life was succesfully taping all 32 seasons of M*A*S*H in chronological order on Betamax, compete with;

"Born in the month of April in New Orleans to a British mom who gave me my red hair & head strong, independent attitude and a Southern Louisiana bred dad who taught me to stay grounded, to be kind & generous & never NEVER change who I really am to please others."

Superior Amy Lewis, you win this round.